Between Boredom and Anxiety
Belief, Flow, and the New York Times Crossword
One of the enduring images from the Apple TV show Ted Lasso was the makeshift sign hung above the door to Ted Lasso’s office. It said, “BELIEVE.”
This past week, I learned that Mr. Lasso was not merely attempting to tap into some classic Norman Vincent Peale Power of Positive Thinking. He was standing on some interesting research.
Don’t worry; this is not a piece about leadership and Ted Lasso. I know it’s 2024, not 2020.
Flow and Belief
Flow is that state of mind where you become fully immersed in an activity. You are so engaged in what you’re doing that time flies by.
It’s an amazing feeling that many of us know.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi set out to study what conditions produce this state. He published the results of his research in the 2008 best-seller Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.
He found that the state of flow is obtained in that sacred ground between boredom and anxiety.
You won't achieve flow if something’s too easy (i.e., boredom).
On the other hand, if something is too difficult (e.g., anxiety), you will also not achieve flow.
Flow is attained when a task challenges you, and you believe you can achieve it.
Challenge + Belief = Flow
This totally explains my relationship with the New York Times crossword puzzle.
As the week progresses, that puzzle gets more complicated.
Monday is easy.
Sunday is impossible.
I love doing the puzzles on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday—lots of flow.
However, on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday – I don’t even bother to start the puzzle.
Why? It’s too challenging and, therefore, no fun. No flow.
For some reason, when I was learning about flow this past week, a light bulb went off.
This is why I never attempt the crossword puzzle on Thursday through Sunday. I don’t believe, so I don’t even try.
I’m violating Ted Lasso’s first rule of performance!
Do I Believe?
One unexpected way to achieve more flow is not finding ways to reduce challenge but rather finding ways to increase belief.
I’ve psyched myself out before giving myself a chance with the silly crossword puzzle. Where else am I doing this in my life?
After a little reflection, the results were sobering. A lack of belief is common in my life. It has negatively impacted:
My writing
My speaking
My business development activities
My engagement with my sons
My workouts
My rest
I could keep going, but you get the picture. Lack of belief is pervasive in my life.
Like you, I want to live a great life. I want to be a great husband, a great father, a great teacher, and a great friend. I want as much flow as possible.
The first step towards greatness and flow is not talent or resources; it’s belief. The research on flow is teaching me that.
Do I believe?
It’s such a simple question, but the impact is profound.
Do You Believe?
My challenge for this week is to reflect upon your beliefs.
Do you believe you can be a great _______?
You know what you need to put in that blank.
If you don’t believe, then nothing will change.
As Henry Ford said so well, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t--you’re right.”
Dallas Readers, this “P.S.” Is For You!
I’m considering hosting a one-day, one-topic “workshop” for a small group of leaders this summer.
Potential topics:
Coaching and developing others
Dealing with difficult people at work
Thriving as a mid-level leader
Public speaking
If interested, hit reply and let me know!
I would be interested in a one day conference.