Power Suit
The one thing that looks great on everyone
“Uh, Sir, your car has no oil to change.”
Yes, that really happened.
Years ago, I took my 2000 Toyota Camry in for an oil change, and the technician came into the waiting room with a very concerned look on his face. I thought, “Here we go, he’s about to show me a small tree growing in my air filter.”
But instead he said, “Your car has no oil to change.”
If you know me, this won’t shock you: I’m not a “car guy.” I know how to pump gas and change wiper blades, and that’s about it.
He could have told me I needed a new flux capacitor and I would’ve said, “Okay, let me go home and ask my wife what she thinks.”
I knew it had been a while since my last oil change, but I figured that whole “every 3,000 miles” thing was just a marketing gimmick.
Now I know better.
Without oil, a car’s engine overheats, seizes, and fails.
It’s amazing how something as complicated as a car can be rendered useless when one small thing is missing: oil.
The same is true for relationships.
Relationships with our team, our coworkers, our bosses, our customers—they’re every bit as intricate as a car engine. And there’s one thing, when missing, that can bring them to a grinding halt: humility.
Oil → Keeps the engine running
Humility → Keeps the relationship running
Humility is seeing yourself accurately—your strengths and your limits—while remembering you’re not the center of the story.
Without humility, relationships overheat and seize. And when your relationships break down, your influence breaks down.
Humility makes your relationships better because it makes you better at relationships.
It’s one of the most underrated forces behind effective leadership. Don’t believe me? Go read the “Level 5 Leader” chapter in Good to Great. Jim Collins found that the best leaders shared two traits: that paradoxical blend of professional will and personal humility.
Years ago, I heard Louie Giglio put it this way:
“You cannot make yourself humble, you can only be made humble.”
That’s worth thinking about. Humility usually isn’t a choice; it’s a reality check. It isn’t manufactured; it’s received. But there are practices that can prepare you to receive it without resisting:
Ask more questions than you give answers
Seek feedback before you think you need it
Share credit publicly and often
Put yourself in rooms where you’re not the expert
Admit when you’re wrong…quickly and clearly
Tell stories that highlight your failures as much as your wins
Ask others to teach you something
Have an eighteen year old tell you your car has no oil to change
Here’s my question for you:
What’s one practice of humility you’ll try this week before reality has to teach it to you?
Humility is one of the most underrated and misunderstood aspects of leadership. It’s like a power suit; subtle, timeless, and flattering on everyone.
It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong. And more importantly, it makes you someone people want to follow.
I Read Books So You Don’t Have To…
A few books of note:
Influence by Dr. Robert Cialdini (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
My first five-star book of the year. There’s a reason it’s sold over five million copies. Influence is fascinating, practical, and surprisingly easy to read—especially given Cialdini’s academic background and the book’s length. If you’re an executive, in business development, or working in marketing, this one is a must-read.
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek (Kindle) (-⭐️⭐️⭐️)
My first negative star review, ever. Negative three stars. He needs to just write daily op-eds for his favorite newspaper. I couldn’t tell if he was teaching me about leadership or venting about his least favorite companies and Millennials. This book is perfect for no one.
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Audible) (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
This one book holds as much wisdom as almost every other book I’ve ever read combined. Nearly 90 years old, and still as relevant and practical as ever. If you want one book that will improve every relationship—personal and professional—this is it. Nothing else even comes close. Perfect for anyone who doesn’t live on a deserted island.
**Yes, this edition of Beyond The Obvious has two five star reviews and a negative three star review. If it’s not clear, I’ve been feeling a little moody lately.**
Speaking of Books…
My friend, retired Secret Service Agent Darin Kinder, released his first book yesterday (August 18): Bury Me in a Dirty Suit. It tells his story of survival at Ground Zero on 9/11. A powerful story with an even more powerful message. Grab a copy on Amazon today!
Finally…
I rewatched Sixteen Candles with my son before his first day in high school. Feel free to copy that parenting move.
Salt Lake City’s airport is on my top five (as is the state of Utah).
I wanted to love Fantastic Four so bad. But…you know.
When you have to disclose how you used ChatGPT for a writing project it makes you look in the mirror and ask, “Really? Are you that lazy?”
Thanks for reading!
-Adam
I’ll ask my direct reports what is one thing they loved that a past boss did for them. (As a hopefully subtle way to hearing what’s something I’m not doing that they wish I did)
Small, but I always defer shotgun to my colleagues and usually sit in the middle seat in the second row to demonstrate that I’m just one of the guys.