The Boredom Bouncer
The enemy you must defeat.
Good afternoon! What’s on tap today:
Why engagement is a must for today’s leader.
A free Fog of Work resource.
Two book recommendations.
Bottom line up front: Your listener's brain has a bouncer and his only job is to keep out anything boring.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
-- George Bernard Shaw
In 2023, Dr. Gloria Mark published Attention Span. She has spent her career studying productivity, multi-tasking, and moods.
While on a screen, the data indicates that our attention span has dwindled to about 47 seconds.
Studying attention spans can be a tad challenging. Researchers prefer not to follow people around with a stopwatch all day, so the best research is often done while monitoring test subjects on a screen.
Regardless of whether or not we’re on a screen, I think we can all agree: our attention spans are decreasing, not increasing.
Engagement Produces Effectiveness
The reason I share this is because Dr. Mark’s research impacts you and your ability to lead every single day.
And to be clear, I’m not talking about how your dwindling attention span negatively impacts your ability to focus and concentrate.
The daily impact is more pervasive. If attention spans are dwindling, then one of the most important tools you use as a leader is becoming less effective.
What is that tool? Communication.
I say it often, but I will say it again. As a leader, words are your work. You talk, you type, you text. This is what you do. Leaders communicate. A lot.
And unfortunately, it has never been more difficult to engage a listener.
The argument I want to make today is this: engagement is growing more and more important to effective leadership.
I want to help you become a more engaging leader. Said another way, I want to help you avoid being a boring one.
To do this, I want to share a word picture and then give you five quick ideas.
The Word Picture: The Boredom Bouncer
The moment you start talking -- or typing -- the power dynamics in the relationship shift. When you begin to speak, you become a guest in the listener’s mind and they now have all the power. They, not you, determine whether or not they will pay attention.
Here’s how I think about it: every brain has a bouncer, and that bouncer has one job -- make sure the mind they are protecting doesn’t pay attention to anything boring.
I call him The Boredom Bouncer. He’s the one stopping you from effective leadership. He’s the one you are trying to outsmart and outmaneuver.
Five Ways to Defeat The Boredom Bouncer
The Boredom Bouncer has five pet peeves. If he senses any of these five things while you’re communicating, he kicks you out. Below are a few quick ways to avoid annoying The Boredom Bouncer:
1. Fight Irrelevance.
The bouncer kicks out anything that doesn’t apply to the listener’s life. Make it personal. Tell them why it matters to them before you tell them what it is.
2. Fight Complexity.
The bouncer kicks out anything that requires too much brain power. Use shorter sentences and simpler words. You suffer from the Curse of Knowledge: you’ve forgotten what it’s like to not know what you know.
3. Fight Aimlessness.
The bouncer kicks out any conversation that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Have a point. Tell the listener where you’re headed before you start walking.
4. Fight Apathy.
The bouncer kicks out anyone who doesn’t seem to care. Stand up straight. Make eye contact. Vary your speed and volume. If you don’t seem interested, why should they be?
5. Fight Predictability.
The bouncer kicks out the same-old same-old every time. Do everything on this list. Most leaders are boring because they think their title earns them attention. It doesn’t. Your engagement does.
Don’t Forget the Real Enemy
The villain you are up against isn’t Gen Z or mobile phones or social media. Screens might be impacting our attention spans, but they are not the enemy.
Life is what it is. You don’t control the fact that we all basically live in an amusement park with casinos in our pockets. You can complain about the system or you can study the enemy and change your tactics.
I suggest you do the latter.
Being an engaging communicator isn’t about personality. It’s about being tactical. Pick one of the five and give it a shot this week.
Free Resource
For those of you reading The Fog of Work with your team, don’t forget I created a free discussion guide. You can download it here.
My (Reading) World is Changing
Fiction is rocking my world this year. Since my last piece, I finished two wonderful novels. I’m giving both of them five stars.
Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro. Published in 2022. So relevant for today’s day and age. Think: E.T. meets A.I. meets Pinocchio, but they’re all adults and dealing with real world issues.
Stoner by John Williams. Published in 1965. Think East of Eden meets Mad Men meets Dead Poets Society. From the first page, this story grips you and never lets up.
Before you go…NYC edition
I took my family to New York City this week. A few highlights and/or observations:
The Lost Boys Musical. It’s only been on broadway for about a month. Truly jaw dropping and…wait for it…better than the film!
Walking through Central Park at dusk, with no particular place to go. The random conversations you have while walking nowhere are what it’s all about.
Magnolia Bakery Banana Pudding. If you know, you know.
Times Square is equal parts mesmerizing and disgusting.
The architecture in the Upper West Side. I feel like this is what every new mixed-use development tries to look like.
NYC 2026
Thanks for reading!
-Adam